The mourning put on pause

Le deuil mis sur pause

Le deuil mis sur pause

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May 24, 2020 4: 00

Updated at 9: 33

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The mourning put on pause

Le deuil mis sur pause

Le deuil mis sur pause

Judith Desmeules

The Sun

Gaston died on 19 April, and this is not the COVID-19 has won. He was accompanied by his daughter Chantal in his last moments. Without the rule of a visitor to a maximum per patient of palliative care, the room would have been much more satisfied.

Chantal Pouliot held the father’s hand (with a glove) then he fell asleep for the last time. Gaston died because of bladder problems caused by treatments for prostate cancer that he has fought a few years ago.

He came to the hospital to the middle of the month of march, in the beginning of a pandemic. The health measures exceptional came to be put in place.

“He was really stressed, anxious and alone, of course. It has been difficult this sequence, there was continuously on the phone. Me, my sister, my brother and my mother. We tried to support it at a distance.”

Gaston asked, “that the kind of there”. He was not sick, no flu-like symptoms in any case.

The hospital had proposed to keep waiting for him to find a place in a care centre, a CHSLD. The word which was already beginning to be afraid of in the month of march. The family did a conference call for an hour to convince the doctor to let it out. Gaston finally moved in with the sister of Chantal, this was not easy because she had to give him more care, but the family was able to enjoy the last moments with him.

“A few weeks later, it came to palliative care, after a few days, he died. We were lucky to be able to accompany it, one person at a time. We took the opportunity, one does not regret” expressed Chantal Pouliot.

She would never have thought to be of those who lose a loved one, much less a father (the captain of the ship), at the heart of a pandemic that has engulfed the whole world.

“Will know why we have had the opportunity to be with him, to live out the end of his life, this last month and a half. Thousands of people make the daily experience of horror since the beginning of the pandemic. Loneliness, deprivation of contact, grief and lonely. The testimonies you hear me grieve so much.”

Funeral deferred

“My father was a gentle man, now. He loves the people, the animals, the family reunions, her grandchildren. He has had huskies for many years, we did together. At home, in Sainte-Foy, he has chickens in the summer. He loves the snow, the rain, the wind”, also entrust to Chantal.

In front of these words, it is easy to understand why Chantal and her family have not opted for the funeral virtual that were offered.

“I accompanied my mother with the funeral director, to discuss further. We have for the moment decided to postpone. It had no meaning, these days, find their basis in the collective. What we were offered, it was a way partial and incomplete.”

Gaston was a man of very sociable, Chantal believes that he would have found it important to gather in order to express a final goodbye. In the meantime, she continues her confinement and she works remotely, she is a professor at Laval University and ensures the conduct of on-line courses. She receives beautiful messages of support and condolences by phone or by message on the social networks. This is not the same as tightening those she loves in her arms.

“It delays the mourning in my opinion, but maybe in six months it will be a different answer. It depends on the person. It makes the whole complex, there is no place for contemplation, not for a visit to the cemetery to give some flowers, all these details were certainly an influence. From my point of view, we have all the levers to make a mourning comfortable, but I know that this is not everyone has this chance,” says Chantal Pouliot.

To READ : To funeral virtual

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